Do

A few days ago, I mentioned how frequently I have to tell the kids that I was gonna doesn't exist.

I just found the grown-up version of that maxim...

Willing is not enough; we must do. -- J. Goethe

I use the phrase I was gonna as often as the kids, but I use it differently. I say:

I was gonna call _____ today.
I was gonna vacuum the kitchen floor today.
I was gonna do a load of laundry this afternoon.

That's all pretty easy to say while I'm sitting here on the couch, but it means precisely squat.

The fact is that I did NOT call _____ today; I did NOT vacuum the kitchen floor today; I did NOT do a load of laundry this afternoon.

So why do I say it?

If you think about the silent but that comes after the first phrase, then I suppose I am trying to deflect responsibility away from myself.

I was gonna call _____ today, but we had so much school work to do.
I was gonna vacuum the kitchen floor today, but that appointment with the doctor took two hours.

So it's Veritas' fault that I didn't call a loved one to catch up? It's the doctor's fault that I didn't vacuum all the dust bunnies off the floor of the room where we prepare food?

I think maybe it's my priorities that are the problem! Either that, or I just need to BE HONEST and say:

I was gonna do a load of laundry this afternoon, but I didn't want to!