The following scenario takes place all the stinkin' time...
[Somewhere in the house, a child begins screaming as though they are being dismembered. The Doppler effect indicates that the child is running in my direction.]
Child #1: Lila/Eli hit me!
Me: Wow, that sounds frustrating. Why did she/he hit you?
Child #1: For no reason!
Me: Really? Well, you might want to stay away from her/him if they're being rude!
Child #1: NO!
[Child stomps out of room, full of purpose. There is a pause. Somewhere in the house, the other child begins screaming. The Doppler effect indicates that this child is now running in my direction.]
Child #2: Eli/Lila threw a toy at me!
Me: Oh, no! Why did he/she do that?
Child #2: For no reason!
Me: Did you hit him/her a few minutes ago?
Child #2: [shifty eyes] . . . no.
Me: Wow! You might want to stay away from him/her if they're going to be rude.
[Child stomps out of room, grumbling under their breath. I rub my temples and go back to whatever I was trying to do.]
This leads me to two conclusions:
1. My children are crazy.
2. They think I am stupid.