3 Rules for Dealing with Pregnant Women
(It's a short list, but it will take you far in life.)

1. Never use the word "fat" when describing a pregnant woman. We are not fat. I was even okay with the words "plump and ripe", but do not use the word fat. Your best bet is to say things like, "You look great!" or "Look at your cute belly!" We won't believe you, but it's a much safer option. **Note to husbands: When you are at the doctor's office and your wife gets weighed, never say anything that could be construed as less than supportive. It doesn't matter how much weight she's gained. And especially don't start bringing up her bad eating habits!

2. Never argue with a pregnant woman. It's really in your best interest. Pregnant women are mentally unstable and can become annoyed over virtually anything. If a pregnant woman tells you she's feeling a certain way, just go with it. Never try to talk her out of it. **Note to husbands: If you call home to tell your wife that you are running late and just leaving the office and she tells you that dinner is "taken care of", don't start asking questions. Just come home.

3. Never antagonize a pregnant woman. This may seem a lot like number two, but there is a difference. Some people enjoy harassing people just to get a rise out of them, but this is not a safe activity with a pregnant woman. Remember, we are mentally unstable and can quickly become violent. **Note to husbands: If your wife tells you that she's feeling really grumpy and easily provoked, do not reach over and poke her just to see what will happen!