A Glimpse into my Mind

I recently had a bruise pop up on my right thigh. I have no idea how it got there, but it was dark purple and roughly the size of a Ritz cracker. It always annoys me when that happens because it seems unfair. I could drop an anvil on my head and it wouldn't leave a mark, but I just wake up one morning and I have this big bruise and no story to go with it! What good is a bruise without a story to go with it?!? Anyway, the bruise is nearly faded now, but I noticed that there is a pea-sized knot under the skin in roughly the same spot.

Doug had already seen the bruise and last night I introduced him to the knot. This conversation followed...

Doug: That's weird.

Me: I know! I think someone injected something into my leg while I was sleeping.

Doug: I think you're right. It was probably the aliens! That's where they injected the tiny alien tracking device. If you cut it out of your leg, it's going to sprout legs and start running around like an insect!

Me: OR it means that I'm actually a paranoid schizophrenic living in a mental institution and this whole wonderful life I think that I'm living is actually an elaborate delusion and this spot on my leg is where they injected me with medication and the injection site has made it's way into my delusion, which is either a fluke or it means that the medication is starting to work.

Doug: I think you're on to something there. Maybe you should talk to your psychiatrist about that.

Me: No, I never tell him the good stuff. It would only worry him.

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