20.9.14

President

Lila for President!
During our pre-dinner prayer tonight, Lila thanked God for kittens and the President. That prompted me to suggest that we elect a kitten as President. Then she said that she should be made President. I quickly grabbed a piece of paper and began to interview her on policy issues.

If Lila were elected President of the United States:

1. She would move Bailey [her best friend] into the White House.

2. Only kids would be allowed to hold government office.

3. Bailey would also become her Vice President.

4. She would declare cake and ice cream to be acceptable breakfast options.

5. Parents would be required to give their children daily game time on electronic devices.

6. Parents would also be required to give their children smart phones at age 5.

7. Illegal immigrants would be dressed up as little girls.

8. When our Allies ask for help in fighting their wars, we'll tell them to ask someone else. [She also mentioned something about sending them fairy wands...]

9. Her solution to National Defense = Lipstick Tasers

10. Visits to the White House would be a mandatory 3-day stay for friends, one month for family.

11. Her response to unemployment:

     a. Jobless to receive $1 from every person they meet.

     b. Jobless would be required to seek work.

     c. Managers who deny jobs to the unemployed would be sent to jail.

12. Education would be restructured as follows: Children would be required to attend school for 3 years and to learn as much as they can during that time. They would not be required to find a job until age 10.

So... I guess she's running on a platform of nepotism and shaming?

- - - - -

Also, I accidentally punched my son in the face today.

Doug, Eli, and I were playing Crazy Games on my bed. That is a thing we've been doing since the kids were little bitty things. It's basically a free-for-all wrestling match. It has, naturally, gotten more rough as the kids get older and stronger.

As we were playing tonight, I went to give Eli a light punch in the chest. At the same time, Doug grabbed him from behind and tried to make him face-plant onto the bed. The result was that my fist made contact with his face, just beside his right eye, complete with Smacky Punching Sound.

Um. Oops.

Thankfully, there is just a little red spot there. I was not looking forward to the conversations that would have to take place if he ended up with a black eye.

Sunday School Teacher: "Hi, Eli! Oh! What happened to your eye?"
Eli: "My mom punched me."
Sunday School Teacher: [stink eye]

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