Lila told me three interesting/concerning things this week.
1. On Wednesday night/Thursday morning, she woke me up around 1:30 a.m. She asked me to come downstairs and snuggle with her and she tried talking to me what was going on. Given that I was only partially awake, I couldn't figure out what she was trying to tell me.
The next day, when I was awake, I got Lila to tell me about it again. She said that when she woke up around 1 a.m., her heart was beating very hard. She got up for a drink of water. Then got up again to go to the bathroom. Then she was cold and her legs started trembling, but not because of the cold.
She was scared and only wanted to talk to me about it.
2. Lila also told me that she gets a pain in her chest, every 2 or 3 days. She said it lasts for about 10-15 seconds and then goes away. She described it as hurting, but not being a sharp pain. She said it's been going on for a while, but she was afraid to talk about it.
3. Around 9:15 p.m. on Thursday, she came downstairs to tell me (not a delay tactic) that sometimes she feels like crying when we leave her in the guest room to read. (She reads by herself for 30 minutes before going to bed.)
Lila said she's tried to figure out why, but there doesn't seem to be a reason. I asked if she feels better once she gets into bed and she said she doesn't know, but she usually forgets about it once she starts reading.
I fear these are the beginnings of struggles with anxiety. I have hoped so hard that she wouldn't inherit this genetic predisposition that seems to run in my family. We already know that she has trouble managing her emotions and controlling her fearful thoughts.
I don't know if those are normal childhood things or signs of something more. I don't want to make a big deal out of it, but I don't want to ignore it either. For now, I will pray. I'll also be making an appointment with a counselor, to get their opinion, and with her pediatrician, to reassure her that there's nothing wrong with her heart.
I'm really not worried, but it does make me sad. My 8-year-old should not be worried about her heart!
If you are a person who sees us, please don't say anything about this in front of Lila. I need support and prayer, so I can't keep this to myself, but I don't want her to know how many people are aware of the situation.
Thank you. [hugs]