Boy, I crack me up!

I was attacked by the toilet paper dispenser in a public restroom today. It was one of those large plastic ones that has two big rolls of paper side-by-side. I pulled down on the paper, then pulled up to tear it off and the thing fell open and whacked me in the head! The best part, I think, was imagining the woman in the next stall, who had no idea what was going on. From her perspective, I just suddenly went "WOAH!" and then started laughing. These kinds of things never happen when there's someone around to witness it!

Ooh! I take that back. There was a witness for the falling-on-my-butt-the-day-before-giving-birth incident!... Wait - WHAT?!? I didn't record that one for posterity? I guess I was a bit preoccupied by the fact that I was going to have a baby in less than 24 hours. Well, the short version is that I woke up to the sound of Charlie scratching the carpet. I got up, grabbed the squirt bottle, and went running after him, squirting away. He ran into the living room and I followed, still squirting.

Here's a tip: Do not squirt water onto wood floors and then run across them. Especially not when you are nine months pregnant! I stepped on some water, my foot slipped out from under me and I landed on my bootie/back. Once again, the perspective of the other guy was even better!

Doug was standing in the kitchen when he suddenly hears the sound of a running cat and a thundering pregnant woman. He looks up to see his wife, who he thought was asleep, come running into the room and then disappear, with arms and legs flailing. The poor guy came running into the room, asking if I was okay, but I couldn't stop laughing long enough to answer him. Once he determined that I was, in fact, okay, he said something along the lines of, "What the heck were you thinking?!?"

Oh yeah. That one still cracks me up. I laughed until I cried just while typing this out! I occasionally ask Doug, "What would you have to laugh about if you weren't married to me?" or, alternately, "Imagine how boring your life would be without me!"


Anonymous said...

That's kind of like rolling out of bed in your sleep, twice. As I tell the people at work, "You will definitely never forget me". If nothing else we provide great comic relief.


Anonymous said...

By the way, who is the chunky old gray-haired lady holding your son in that picture?