A Long Post about a Tiny Creature

We took a 15-minute break (Recess) from our school work yesterday afternoon so that the kids could run around outside and burn off some of their energy. They were only outside for a few minutes when Eli started crying. Now, another main goal of Recess is for me to spend 15 minutes NOT in the same room as my children. (come on, homeschooling can get kind of intense!) So, I checked to make sure that no one was bleeding and counted to ten.

 

The crying stopped and I went on with my power-relaxing. About 60 seconds later, I was joined by Lila who insisted that there was a giant butterfly outside and I just had to see it. I told her, basically, that I really didn't feel like coming out to look at a butterfly. She went back out. Five minutes later, Eli came inside to tell me about this giant butterfly and how I had to come see it. I took a deep breath and told him the same thing I'd told Lila. He went back outside.

 

Once our Recess was finally over, I went to the back door to call the kids in to the table. I saw that they were both crouched down and examining something on the ground. I decided it was time to be a good mom and go see the butterfly. I'm so glad that I did! There was the butterfly, just hanging out in the grass. I thought it was pretty odd that this insect was just standing there and letting my kids get so close to it. I put a hand out and it crawled right up!

 

We all took turns holding the butterfly and exclaiming over its beauty. Since we were curious about why it did not fly away, I decided to do a little research. Lila noticed that one of it's wings was slightly torn (which you can see in the photo) and she hypothesized that this was the reason it didn't fly. But no, we read that butterflies can even fly with half a wing missing. I wondered if the cold weather had something to do with it. Bingo! Sure enough, butterflies cannot fly if they get too cold!

 

They are insects and, therefore, cold-blooded creatures. This little beauty was grounded by a cold front and a cloudy day. None of us were willing to leave the poor thing out in the cold, so I spent 15 minutes searching the house for something we could use as a butterfly cage. I finally happened upon a mesh laundry basket that I had completely forgotten about. For once, our Ridiculous Stash of Crap in the garage came in handy!

 

We made a little habitat for the butterfly and brought it inside. It only took Cookie about 30 seconds to spot the enticingly-fluttery-object-that-needed-to-be-eaten, so we moved it onto the dining room table where we could keep an eye on it. We really didn't know what to feed our little friend, so I put a slice of old orange and a tiny dish of sugar water in the cage. Lila added a pretty yellow flower. We had an amusing discussion about what to name it, but no one could agree.

 

Eli wanted to name it Beautiful because it was so beautiful. Lila wanted to name it Escape (ess-kah-pay) because it was looking for a way out of the cage. We finally decided that we could each call it whatever we wanted and then got back to our school work. We did not get all of our work done because of this diversion, but we learned a few things and had lots of fun. It's ironic that God had to beat me over the head with this teachable moment before I finally let go of my need for control and embraced it.

 

Our general plan was to keep the butterfly in the house for a day or two, until the weather warmed up and/or the sun came out. Doug and I were both a little worried that it was going to die, so we each tried to prepare the kids for that possibility. I was particularly worried since I never saw it eat anything and it didn't move much after the first couple of hours. And then there was the concern that we would take it out into the warm air... and it still wouldn't fly away.

 

However, I am pleased to report that it survived 25 hours in our care and we were able to return it to the wild this afternoon. Once Lila got home from school, we took the cage outside, found a bit of direct sunlight, and took the top off. The butterfly just sat there and basked for a while, so I put my hand out. It crawled up onto my fingers and then flew... to my face. It crawled around on my face for a while, which I choose to believe was a Tiny Butterfly Thank You.

 

It fluttered down to my chest, which I could only tolerate for a few seconds. It may be pretty, but it's still got 6 little insect legs and prickly feet! I tried to get it onto my hand so that the kids could hold it, but that's when our little friend finally found her wings again. We watched it flutter away into the late afternoon sun and we all felt joy and satisfaction. I also felt the disturbing sensation that there was still something crawling around on my body, but that passed.

 

Goodbye, Beautiful Escape!

I never said I was *good* at crafts!

Turns out that this color makes my daughter look like she's suffering from a chronic illness. Also, I have no idea how to dress a child for a biblical presentation. This is somewhere between monk and nun. So... she's a sickly and conflicted nun?

Unfortunate since I was aiming for Sarah (as in, Abraham's wife). *sigh*

You know the kid from the movie Signs who had the issues with water? She was constantly abandoning glasses of water because she said they tasted funny or they had amoebas in them? That's Eli and shorts. Forget, for the moment, that he refuses to wear pants, even when it's only 45 degrees outside. He regularly changes shorts (and sometimes underwear) because they have become offensive to him. Usually, he says that they were poking him (even though they have an elastic waist and he's been wearing them without a problem for hours). Since bathtime this evening, he has changed his shorts twice because he said they were touching a boo-boo on his knee.

To be fair, that's also me and deodorant. Shameful confession: I have half a dozen sticks of deodorant in my bathroom cabinet. Each one was purchased, with enthusiasm, and used for about one week. Then I decided it didn't work well enough or it didn't smell right, so it went into the cabinet and I'd get a new one. Why, you might ask, don't I just find a brand that I like and stick with it? I don't know. For some reason, I'm also compelled to keep trying new brands.

This is one of those situations where Doug just shakes his head and keeps his mouth shut. He's a very wise man.

Pain, thanks, and waste

I am fighting a major headache tonight. I don't know what is causing it, but my entire head feels like it's being squeezed. I was laying on the couch after dinner, hoping that the food and water would help. (I won't take any medicine unless I just can't stand it anymore.) Eli was snuggling with me and we started chatting about various things. After a few minutes, he told me that he had a "head egg" too. Cute kid!

 

Oh! I wonder if it's got anything to do with the big rainstorm that passed just north of us this evening...

 

I brought along a little craft for Doug, the kids, and myself to do while we were in Dallas. We made Thanksgiving necklaces! (I got the idea here.) I traced the notebook page outlines onto shrinky-dink paper and wrote "I am thankful for" on each one. Then we either wrote or drew pictures of things that we were thankful for. A hole punch, a little time in the oven, and a few jewelry supplies later and we had these fun necklaces! We made them Thanksgiving morning and wore them all day.

 

I have two food waste confessions, but no photos to go with them. Doug is very efficient and threw them out before I could take a picture. The breakfast cookies I baked last week got all fuzzy while we were in Dallas. I brought them with me, but failed to put them in the fridge. I got a couple of breakfasts out of them, but had to throw most away. Major bummer! When we got back, I found a package with one lonely tortilla in it that was starting to look like a science project.

"Mom's gettin' wacky with the leftovers again!"

I want to avoid as much food waste as possible while we're gone for Thanksgiving. Since we had a budding collection of leftover produce in the fridge, I decided to throw it all together into a meal and see what happened.

 

Here's what I started off with:

Main dish ingredients: Celery, parsley, tomato paste, cranberries, cilantro, chives, thyme, broccoli, and baby carrots

Side dish: Vegetable curry and rice

Salad: Baby arugula, romaine, cucumber, red onion, avocado, apple slices (i used the cilantro here too)

I chopped up the celery and broccoli, and threw in the carrots and cranberries.

 

That went into a skillet with a little olive oil and sauteed for a few minutes.

I added in the tomato paste, a cup of vegetable broth, the herbs, and a couple of other random things that got in my way. This simmered until I finished cooking the pasta (duck shapes) and heating up the curry. It was definitely an unusual dish and I wouldn't really recommend that you try to recreate it, but I am very pleased at being able to save so many various foods from certain ruin!

Unfortunately, I couldn't use up ALL of the ingredients. There is still quite a bit of celery and some of each of the herbs leftover. I know the celery will make it until next week, but you can probably look forward to some photos of slimy herbs when I get back to Austin!

Is it something in the water?

They're so cute when they're asleep, aren't they? So sweet. You can almost forget all the crazy-ass things they do when they're awake. I don't know what has gotten into these people lately, but it has left me standing in that mouth-hanging-open-with-disbelief posture far too often. Lila has been straight-up rude to everyone in the house. Eli is exploding things and making messes at the speed of light. And it's even worse when they start scheming together!

 

It's funny, in an exasperating way. But it's kind of sad too. These guys have always been remarkably trustworthy and well-behaved. They throw fits and make messes with the best of them, but they don't have to be watched at all times. They are (mostly) kind to the animals. They know what they are and aren't allowed to cut with scissors. They know how much candy they are allowed to eat each day. They know that food isn't allowed upstairs. And they are honest.

 

Until this recent bout of insanity, that is. I find that my trust in them is eroding and that makes me very sad! I should talk to them about it. Not in a threatening or guilt-trippy kind of way. Just an honest conversation about trust and how it is given, lost, regained, etc. I don't expect it to inspire an instant change in behavior, but I know my kids pretty well. When you talk to them in a mature way, they listen and really chew on what has been discussed.

 

Trustworthy adults don't just happen! They have to be taught.

Abundance

Eli actually ate dinner tonight. And it wasn't pizza! Granted, he did not eat the main dish that I cooked (which was delicious, by the way). And he would only eat his lettuce if he could dip it in peanut butter, but we figured that's probably a healthier option than salad dressing anyway. But he did eat roughly one leaf of lettuce, a tablespoon of peanut butter, a tablespoon of roasted and unsalted peanuts, and most of a banana. For a normal person, that would be a snack. For Eli... it might be the healthiest dinner he's ever eaten. Seriously!

 

Doug was offered a free ticket for a stadium seat at tomorrow's F1 race events, so it looks like we'll be losing him for several hours. He did some research this evening and it sounds like 2 hours of the time he'll be gone will just be getting to and from the track. And that's with us driving him to a shuttle bus downtown! Oh well. I'm sure we'll find some way to keep ourselves entertained.

 

However, the more I hear and read about this F1 racing business, the more disturbed I am. People spend an unholy amount of money to attend these races! I'm talking about thousands of dollars per race, plus travel expenses all over the world. Think of the kind of difference you could make in the life of a struggling family with that kind of money! Think of the clean drinking water you could bring to a remote village somewhere! Think of all the good things you could do for other people!

 

Okay, okay. [deep breath] No more throwing stones. What could I do with my resources to help other people this holiday season? That's something that Doug and I were just discussing this evening! We have ideas, but no conclusion yet. I'll keep you updated.

It's been a long, full day and I'm very tired. I don't think I have the energy to be witty or thought-provoking (or even mildly interesting). I also don't have any good photos to share. Tomorrow I will save some energy for the evening, make sure I have something to talk about, and take some new pictures. 'Til then...

Today's Blunder

I'm posting early today because, frankly, I just need to vent. The day started off fairly well, except for all the sneezing. I took a Claritin and cleared that right up. (that's only the third time i've had to take anything this season!) Eli and I went to the gym, where I had a good workout and ran into a couple of friends. After the gym, we went to the library, where we got new books and I ran into an acquaintance and met another mom with a daughter at Veritas.

After that, things just got aggravating. I was already on edge for some reason. Hormones? Allergy medicine? I don't know. Little things were feeling disproportionately annoying. But, I was really looking forward to seeing Lila's performances in the Grade School Fine Arts Salon. Eli napped, I showered, we (Doug, Eli, and I) got ready to go and actually made it out the door at roughly the time I'd planned. Then we got to the school and discovered that we had missed Lila's music performance.

 

I got the end time confused with the start time and we showed up right as all the other parents were coming out of the auditorium. When Lila finally saw us walk in, she just dissolved into tears. My heart split right in half. I can't even tell you how bad I felt. And it did not help that other people kept mentioning comments Lila had made about us not being there or how you could see the change in her face when she realized we were missing her performance.

 

Worst. Mom. Ever.

 

We hugged her and apologized and felt like total heels. She cried for a while and looked so pitiful that her best friend's mommy nearly cried along with her. A couple of other moms said they'd gotten the whole thing on video and would send us the files. That helped a tiny bit. We asked Lila if she'd like to get up on stage and give us a private performance. That helped a little bit too. She sang all three songs for us and showed us the surprise they'd prepared for the parents (punch in the gut - oof!).

 

At that point, she seemed to be pretty well recovered. I asked her forgiveness (which she graciously extended) and we moved on to the Author's Share portion of the afternoon. That's where we got to see all the material our kids have been working on in their Writers' Workshop. Lila showed us a couple of cute stories and some very creative drawings. It wasn't quite what I'd expected, but it was good to see her pride in the hard work she's been doing.

 

Things continued on after that, in an up-and-down sort of way. I misunderstood where we were supposed to meet up with her dance class for the final presentation of the afternoon. Down. We got to see Lila dance to 'The Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy' with her classmates. Up! Someone else made off with Lila's shoes, so we had to leave with a pair that was too big. Down. You get the idea... I just can't shake the terrible feeling over missing her music performance though.

 

Once we finally got home and the kids were doing other things, I went to my room and cried. Lila has totally moved on, but I am having a hard time forgiving myself for disappointing my child. I know it's not the first time, nor will it be the last, but oh! does it sting. *sigh*

Dance Class and Dinner



Dance class or the Ministry of Silly Walks?

Lila's elective for this first trimester has been Dance. On Monday, the parents were invited to sit in on class, to see what the girls have been working on these past few months. Doug couldn't get away from work to be there, but Eli and I went. I hadn't realized how hard those girls have been working! The class is an hour long and those girls were stretching, working on various moves, and dancing the whole time! Watching a room full of 6- and 7-year-olds try to do precise dance movements is predictably entertaining at times. Just the same, I was proud of my Big Girl!

I'm very pleased with myself this evening because I made a very yummy dinner that used up several leftover bits and pieces from previous meals. I had a cup (or more) of cashew cream, a cup of vegetable broth, half a tomato, two partial bags of uncooked pasta, and the last of The Head of Cabbage that Just Won't End. Those things, along with a tablespoon(ish) of tomato paste, five cloves of garlic, a stalk of celery, and some fresh parsley, chives, and thyme, all worked together to make a great, creamy pasta dish!

On a related note, I think you should be able to buy celery by the stalk. I'm not sure I've ever used an entire bunch of celery before it went bad. I'm very determined to use it all up this time, but that might mean celery thrown into every dish for the next two weeks! And furthermore, could I please get smaller bunches of cilantro? I love cilantro and will add it to almost anything, but I can't seem to use it all up before it goes slimy!

 

Anyway, I'm supposed to be talking about how pleased I am over this make-it-up-as-i-go-along, use-up-lots-of-ingredients meal. I highly recommend making a batch of Cashew Cream and experimenting with it in some of your recipes. It is so tasty!

My First Food Waste Confession

This lonely apple slice somehow managed to sit in the refrigerator until it achieved a rubbery texture that no one was willing to tolerate.

Yep, I just need to stop buying oranges. I did put this one to good use, however. I threw it at Doug's rump.

This was a large and lovely heirloom tomato. I have no excuse for allowing it to go bad. I could easily have added it to a salad or other dish.

 

There you have it.

 

Do you want to make a food waste confession?

Do you have a great food save that you'd like to share?

Stupid Daylight Saving Time

For the first 27 years of my life, I had no opinion on Daylight Saving Time. I enjoyed getting an extra hour of sleep in the Fall and I shorted myself an hour of sleep in the Spring (because i was too stubborn to go to bed an hour early). Beyond that, I didn't care. . . . Then I had kids. Now I spend two weeks out of the year cursing the person who decided DST was a good idea. The time changed on Sunday and my kids are still acting like crazy people.

 

I mean, I get it. Your brain and body get used to doing things at certain times and then that changes on you overnight. People are telling you that it's time to sleep/eat/go to school, but your body says otherwise. The result is fatigue, headaches, and tummy aches. It's even messing with my head (and body) a little bit. I decided today that Texas should secede and the Republic of Texas should definitely NOT observe Daylight Saving Time!

 

A little history, if you're curious...

 

Daylight Saving Time was instituted in the United States during World War I in order to save energy for war production by taking advantage of the later hours of daylight between April and October. During World War II the federal government again required the states to observe the time change. Between the wars and after World War II, states and communities chose whether or not to observe Daylight Saving Time. In 1966, Congress passed the Uniform Time Act, which standardized the length of Daylight Saving Time.

 

For more, you can go here.

This Post has Nothing to do with the Election

Things have been going very well so far with No Waste Rules! I haven't had to throw out any food since I last mentioned it. Can you believe that?!? No mystery leftovers! No rotten produce! There are a few odds and ends in the fridge that I need to find a use for pretty soon (any ideas for leftover tomato paste?) and a couple of oranges that are going to go bad if someone doesn't "take one for the team" (i just need to stop buying those). So I might be blessing you with photos of moldy food in the near future.

 

On Sunday evening, I made a Puree of Vegetable Soup that we've been eating for a few days. It was a massive soup, so we'll be eating it for a few more days as well! I love soups and stews and chilies and such because they tend to improve over time. This particular soup has tasted better every time we've eaten it. And I found some heavenly gluten-free focaccia bread to go with it (in the freezer section at Whole Foods). It's too expensive to buy very often, but great for an occasional treat.

 

The Chewy Ginger Cookies that I mentioned a few days ago are rocking my world! I've always liked the flavor of ginger snaps, but I just don't enjoy eating crunchy cookies. So these are perfect for me. The kids love them too, but have been too distracted by Halloween candy to eat many of them. I'm not complaining, however, because that leaves more for me! I still have a big hunk of dough sitting in the refrigerator, so we won't be running out any time soon.

 

If you're tired of "listening" to me talk about food, how about this little nugget: Eli sleep-walked during rest time today. He fell asleep in his own bed and woke up in my bed. He insists that he did not sleep-walk because he doesn't remember getting out of bed. I tried to explain to him that you never remember sleep-walking because you are asleep, but he's just not buying it. Now Lila's slightly jealous because she doesn't sleep-walk. Really...? No sibling rivalry there. No sir!

Weekend Getaway

Doug and I had a wonderful weekend away to celebrate 10 years of marriage! We dropped the kids off with some grandparents, where we knew they would not miss us one bit, and then headed to Burnet, TX. Well, I guess we were technically 20 miles outside of Burnet, but that's the nearest town. We stayed at Rainbow Hearth Sanctuary & Retreat Center. The whole point of the weekend was just to be... with each other, with God, with ourselves. We didn't really do anything.

 

This place is deep in the Texas Hill Country, as you can see from the photo - watch your step! Rainbow Hearth could be described as a Bed & Breakfast, but it's really more than that. The proprietor, Mariah, also does massage/bodywork. So it's kind of a spa. And since it is 20 miles from the nearest town, you eat all of your meals there and spend most of your time enjoying silence and solitude. So it's also a retreat center. You get the idea.

 

We really only saw the other guests (all three of them) at meals, but there were a few friendly pets that could always be counted on for companionship! (See my Facebook page for photos.) While the focus at Rainbow Hearth is not Christian, it is definitely spiritual. Many people might be uncomfortable with the messages they promote, but you can be assured that God and the Holy Spirit are there with you because They are everywhere you go. I just tuned out everything except Jesus and enjoyed my time with Him (as well as with Doug, of course)!

 

It was really strange to see and explore Lake Buchanan because the water level is extremely low. I will try and remember to post a picture or two on Facebook that have a good view of the lake. It's easy to see where the water level used to be vs. where it is now. I understand that our actions, as a society, are contributing to the current changes in our climate and landscape. I also understand, however, that climates and landscapes have been changing since our world was created. I find it somewhat fascinating to be able to watch it happen this time!

 

Anyway, I could go on about our weekend - I haven't even started talking about the food yet! - but I'm starting to get sleepy, so it's time to wrap up. If you are looking for extended periods of solitude (with or without another person) and silence so profound, at times, that you can hear your own heartbeat, then this is a great place to visit!

 

*Is it me, or does this read more like a poorly written travel review than a blog post? Did I mention that I'm sleepy?

Cheerful vs. Stubborn

I'm feeling pretty cheerful this evening. Tired, but cheerful. I have Chewy Ginger Cookie dough chilling in the fridge and I'm looking forward to a little late-night baking once it's firm. Lila helped me make the dough, which made us both feel good. Lila loves to help cook. Serving is definitely one of her main love languages. It made me feel good to know that I was showing her love and letting her show me love in this way because I don't do it very often. Let her help me cook, I mean. I usually want to be left entirely alone while I'm cooking. Even Doug's helpful offers and suggestions are usually met with a wild-eyed stare.
 

It's not that I don't appreciate the desire to spend time with me or help me out. I just can't think about anything else when I'm cooking and one question too many could make my head explode. Really!

 

Eli seems to have given up both eating and bathing. As soon as we were done with our day's school work, both kids disappeared upstairs. I didn't see them for an hour after that! When I went up to tell them that it was shower time, they ignored me. I finally got them to acknowledge that they did hear and understand the language that I was speaking, but no one came to be bathed. I waited around for 15 minutes (no great tragedy. i spent that time reading on my bed.) and then came back downstairs.

 

Lila, who doesn't really need help anyway, went ahead and took her shower about half an hour later. Well, she stood under the water for a while. She didn't discover until she was already in the shower and wet that their body wash was not in there with her. She yelled my name for several minutes (which i didn't hear because i was downstairs with the radio on) and then decided that she'd rather declare herself Clean Enough than get out and get the soap.

 

When we were 15 minutes away from dinner time, I reminded Eli that we'd be eating soon and he was welcome to join us once he was clean. I forgot that this strategy is not so effective on someone who opts not to eat dinner half the time anyway. He ended up riding his bike around and around the house while the rest of us ate. He is currently being put to bed. No dinner, no bath. Oh well... he'll eat again at breakfast and I know he'll bathe tomorrow night because he'll be at Grammie and Papa Joe's!

The Lunar Effect

We are still in Costume Land, but tonight I remembered to take a break for my blog! What you see in this photo is a lot of Work in Progress, including Eli's H.E.R.B.I.E. helmet, face and shirt, and Lila's jelly bean label. I think we've got their costumes under control. When I'm through with this post, I'll be cleaning off the coffee table (currently covered in glitter and markers) and bringing down our ironing board. I'm wicked excited about our Greendale Community College shirts! Go Human Beings!

 

I'm glad the day is winding to a close because it's been a long one. The kids were extra crazy all day. Now I'm going to say something that 75% of you will think is nuts and/or heretical: I'm pretty sure it was an effect, at least in large part, of last night's full moon. Six or nine months ago, I would have thought that was crazy too, but then I started paying attention. There were days when the kids seemed inexplicably loony (pun intended).

 

I noticed on one of those occasions that there was a full moon that night. On a hunch, I started taking note of the moon whenever the kids had one or two of these spells of lunacy and, sure enough, they nearly always coincided with a full moon. Weird, right?!? We cannot fully understand the way that God made this world, hard though we try. But I figure, Hey, if the moon can control the ocean tides, it can have an effect on my children's brains.

 

Go ahead. Grab your pitchforks and torches. But don't bother bringing science with you. :)

Blogger Currently Unavailable

We are deep in the land of costume planning and preparation. This whole Make Your Own Costume deal is a lot of work! We've had a stroke of genius for the grown-up costumes. Doug, Renee, and I are making Greendale Community College t-shirts!

 

I guess you'll really only think that's awesome if you've seen Community.

 

Anyway, I will try to type up a real blog post tomorrow evening.

 

Below is my Blogger Currently Unavailable image.

Various Forms of Pain

A quick update on the Insanely Spicy Curry (i know you 've been thinking about it): On the first night, after we finished dinner, I drained the liquid off, added more peas, coconut milk, and a couple tbsp of yogurt. Doug ate some the second night and said it was much less spicy. Last night, I spent way too much time thinking about what to do, then pulled it out and served it again for dinner. I added some corn, a little peanut butter, and mixed it with pasta. It is now a different creature than what I started out to make, but it's rather tasty and can be eaten without pain. I won't have to throw it out after all!

On an unrelated note, I fell down our stairs today. Really, it was only about one-third of the way down the stairs, but it sounds better when I'm less specific. I must have cried out in surprise/pain/fear when it happened because both kids came running. Eli looked at me long enough to determine that I wasn't bleeding, then went back to what he was doing. Lila tried to help me up, but I was still in too much pain to move. If I wasn't going to let her minister to me, then she had no further use for me, so she also went back to what she was doing.

Thankfully, I'm fine except for some scrapes and bruises. But, as I was evaluating my injuries a little while ago, I was reminded of a funny story that happened to me when I was pregnant with Eli. As a matter of fact, I was two days away from my c-section, so I was really pregnant with Eli.

I woke up one morning to the sound of a naughty cat scratching the carpet. I sat up, spotted the guilty culprit, and grabbed the nearest squirt bottle. (We keep these handy all over the house.) I jumped out of bed and took off in pursuit of the cat, squirting water at him as I went. We had wood floors in that house... and I was running... and I was squirting water in front of me as I ran... 9 months pregnant... Jump to Doug's point of view--

He is in the kitchen, making his breakfast and doing Morning Things. He hears a strange sound from the direction of our bedroom and looks up, over the bar, in time to see his extremely pregnant wife come running into the living room and then disappear. The next thing he sees is said pregnant wife's feet in the air. He comes around the end of the bar to see me, flat on my back, laughing my ass butt off. He, being concerned for my well-being, was not as amused as I was.

I still can't tell the story without laughing so hard that I cry. [she says, as she wipes tears from her eyes.] I mean, really, what good is a story like that if you can't laugh at yourself?

Costume Construction

Construction has finally begun on the Halloween costumes. Lila will be a bag of purple jelly beans. Unfortunately, we can't really put that together until just before we go out. We got some letter stencils to make the label (I love this!): Lila Beans, purple jelly beans. The bag will be a transparent trash bag and the jelly beans will be small purple balloons. We took one of the balloons for the making of Eli's helmet (see photo).

 

Eli will be H.E.R.B.I.E. the robot, from Super Hero Squad. Doug and I spent a great deal of time trying to figure out the best way to make a realistic H.E.R.B.I.E. costume. Turns out, Eli doesn't care about realism. When we consulted him on costume ideas, he just wanted to wear a gray long-sleeved t-shirt, and gray sweatpants. Uh, that is way easier than the ideas we were coming up with to make him look like he was levitating!

 

We got black fabric paint to draw the lines on his belly and sleeves. Surprisingly, Eli did consent to let Doug make a cool H.E.R.B.I.E. head helmet. I'm just hoping he also consents to put it on when Halloween gets here. What you see in this picture is the beginnings of our first-ever paper mache project. He requested extendable arms, but I don't think we're going to be able to pull that one off. I don't think we have room in our budget for replacing our son's arms with robotic prosthetics.

Official name of my undertaking: No Waste Rules!

Until about 30 minutes ago, I was feeling very triumphant about our reduction of food waste. Now I feel frustrated! But I'll get to that later...

This is actually a photo of the dinner that I cooked on Wednesday: Roasted Tomato stuffed with Yellow Rice. I probably should have cored out more of the tomato before roasting, but overall it was a yummy dish. It made three dinners and one lunch. I have cleared out all questionable leftovers and produce, and fully implemented all of my new No Waste Rules! So, from this point on, I will be taking photos of any food that I have to throw out.

Which leads me to my frustration with tonight's meal. It is a Simple Green Curry... that is too spicy for anyone in this house except Doug to eat. I was exceedingly puffed-up by the time dinner rolled around because I had not only cooked a healthy meal, but even turned the excess kale into kale chips (shockingly tasty!), added the leaves from the excess bok choy to our salad mix, and put peanut butter on the excess bok choy stems. Our plates were full of healthy food and nothing except ends and pieces got thrown away!

 

Then we took the first bite of curry. I don't feel like going into what went wrong - it's too frustrating. Let's just say this was a learning experience. Doug enjoys spicy food, so he was able to finish his serving, but it was a bit much even for him. I ate three bites and couldn't handle the pain. I thank God that Doug took the first bite of his food before any made its way into the kids' mouths. There would have been tears!

 

I absolutely refuse to throw leftovers away on my first day of fully-implemented No Waste Rules!, so I am desperately trying to tame them down. I have drained off the liquid and added some more coconut milk (it's not the super-creamy stuff though - it's coconut milk 'beverage'), a couple tablespoons of plain yogurt, and more peas. It's still ridiculously spicy, but I might have managed to tone it down about 10%.

 

Nonetheless, I will not be able to serve this to my children again (or myself, for that matter) and that means going to the store again tomorrow and cooking another meal while leftovers that might or might not get eaten sit in the refrigerator. [sigh] I am trying to remind myself that it's not a big deal and I can't expect to get things just right all the time, etc. None of that is at all comforting to a raging perfectionist, however.

 

Hmm... maybe God has more than one thing to teach me through this new way of doing things...

Story Time

Man, I really enjoy sitting around with friends (old or new) and telling great stories! Our family had an impromptu cookout with our neighbors tonight and we had so much fun! The grown-ups sat around in lawn chairs and talked while the kids ran in, out, and around us. Each of us was doubled over with laughter at one point or another. And the best part is that we were just talking about life. We told stories about our kids, our childhoods, each other. 

 

There was no cussing (that I recall) and very little "adult" humor. The funniest things in life are the things that happen to us every day. I thank God regularly for giving me such a strong sense of humor because it makes life so much more... fun! There are countless moments in each day when something unexpected happens and we have a choice to make. It's a choice that's made in a moment, almost without thinking, but it's so important!

It's the day before your daughter's very first day of school... and your toddler son pours carrot juice into her brand new (and mostly white) school shoes. What do you do?

 

You could get angry and punish the child for making a mess. You could obsess about the money you spent and the impossibility of getting carrot juice out of white fabric. You could feel burdened by yet another item added to your to-do list.

Or, you could stop and appreciate the humor in the situation. What are the chances that your son would choose to pour his juice into someone's shoes, especially those particular shoes? (And who left the brand new shoes sitting out on the mud bench, anyway?) Is it going to hurt your daugher to go to school with slightly orange shoelaces? No. Will it make a great story to tell your mom-friends (and the kids' grandparents) later? Yes!

Should your son think it's okay to pour carrot juice into his sister's shoes? Absolutely not. Will he and your daughter both learn a great lesson from watching their mom confront an unexpected and undesireable situation with humor and grace? You better believe it!

 

For the record, this example is not theoretical. It actually happened to me a couple of years ago. I'm not saying I made all the right choices in that moment. As I recall, I stood in the hallway with my mouth opening and closing silently for several seconds, then began to freak out. Eli did not get in trouble, but he definitely understood that it was not okay to pour his juice into someone's shoes. The laughing came later, when I started doing one of my favorite things - telling a great new story!

Our Latest Adventure

I am a frequent reader of several blogs. Two of them, The Frugal Girl and Simply Being Mum, are chronicling their efforts to reduce and/or eliminate food waste in their households. I have read their posts with increasing discomfort for months now. I want to do the same, but I don't care much for change. I'm also bizarrely defensive about my grocery shopping habits. I get a little hostile if Doug tries to suggest that I should get a different brand of vegetable broth or buy a few less apples.
 

Well, I'm finally going for it! I am putting my own boundaries around it (naturally - since when do i ever do exactly what i'm told?), but I think it will be revolutionary around here. Once I have the routine figured out and the fridge cleared of all current crap, I will begin taking photos of any food that I end up throwing away. I will post those photos here and use my readers as my priests as I confess my wastefulness. (For the record, these Candy Corn Cookies are not being thrown out. They are just cute.)

Step 1: I am only buying the ingredients for one meal at a time. Too often have I bought produce several days ahead of a planned meal, only to find it rotted by the time I was ready to cook.

Step 2: I will not cook a new meal until the leftovers from the previous meal have been consumed. Too often have I found fuzzy leftovers in the fridge that I don't even remember cooking!

Step 3: I will not cook food that I do not intend to eat. This one is actually a bit difficult for me because there are (quite) a few things that I don't eat, but I know that Doug loves them. However, this leaves Doug in the position of having to eat all of the leftovers by himself. Too often have I thrown away food that only went bad because one person could not consume it quickly enough. I do recognize that I could just cook small portions of those items and I might do so from time to time.

Step 4: The children will be served leftovers. This one might seem like a no-brainer (ew. i just remembered how much i hate that phrase...), but here's what Leftover Night looked like in the Peeler house prior to this week: Doug - leftovers; Angela - maybe leftovers; Eli - frozen pizza; Lila - frozen burrito. The kids didn't eat the food when I served it the first time, so I didn't make them sit in front of it a second time. Well, that rationale is breeding poor eating habits and a (greater) sense of entitlement. Too often have I allowed my children to eat processed and non-nutritious food because I wanted to avoid an argument.

This may seem excessive or fanatical, but I'm not kidding when I say that one person (or maybe two people) could be sustained by the food that we throw away in this house. I can't stand it anymore. I will not throw out food that another person would literally kill for! I welcome anyone who wants to join me in this journey...

Food

 I have really been enjoying my time in the kitchen lately. I have taken pleasure in cooking for quite some time, but my endeavours have gradually turned toward baking (which i used to avoid) and vegan cooking. Okay, the Sauerbraten (pictured below) is neither baked nor vegan, but it was an adventure all its own. I was terrified that I was putting a great deal of cost and effort into a dish that no one was going to eat, but people liked it! They liked it!

 

I can't say that my husband is particularly enjoying my newfound love of vegan food. He would rather have a hunk of meat on his plate. I don't have a great deal of sympathy for him, however, as I know how often he goes to Chuy's for lunch with his co-workers. Chuy's, which I can no longer eat. Curse you, Doug Peeler! It's a good thing I like you... Anyway, I figure I'm doing him a favor by giving his body a break from the animal products when we eat at home.

 

The kids could not care less. Really. It's not like they ate the food that I cooked before anyway! And, as it turns out, Lila loves brown rice and quinoa. That's fabulously healthy! As for Eli, we are ecstatic if he eats one bite of food at dinner. I truly don't know how he maintains that delightful plumpness. BUT... it seems that a batch of homemade cookies can erase a lot of bad memories. Who can complain about Roasted Tomatoes Stuffed with Yellow Rice when there is a bucket of Candy Corn cookies in the pantry?

 

Well, okay, the kids can. But they forget quickly!

A Fish Funeral

Our family had a little fishie funeral tonight. Lila's dear beta, Snowflake, finally succumbed to whatever was ailing her. Many tears were shed. We laid her to rest in a small jewelry box, tied up with a golden ribbon. We gathered around the hole (lovingly dug by Dad, right next to Hurley's resting place) and said our last good-byes by the light of a camping lantern. This priceless conversation followed:

Doug: "Lila, do you want to say anything about Snowflake? That's what people sometimes do... when they bury a pet."

Lila: "No."
Me: "We could tell stories about her. Like the other day when she tried to jump out of her tank!"
[silence, then]
Lila: "She used to like to play hide-and-seek with us."
[Renee had to bury her face here, to hide a laugh.]
Eli: "Yeah, but now she can't. 'Cause she died."
Lila: "Yeah. . . . Can I get a beta baby now?"
Me: "Let's finish saying good-bye to Snowflake before we start planning her replacement."

Later, after we had come back inside, I was getting some pre-bed snuggles from Eli. He was thoughtfully twisting my hair when he said, quietly, "It's actuwy kinda sad."

Yes, baby. Death is kinda sad. Even when it's only a fish.

TV

I watch entirely too much TV.

Using the phrase 'entirely too much' makes it sound like I care or that I want to watch less. In reality, that's not true. Here are my current Top 5 shows along with the number one reason why I love each one...

1. Big Bang Theory -

I have a secret crush on Sheldon Cooper.

2. The Soup -

It's actually a tie between my gratitude for how much they rag on Oprah and my gratitude for introducing the phrase, "Oh, here go hell come" into my vocabulary.

3. House -

Gregory House gets away with saying the things that the rest of us are thinking.

4. Bones -

David Boreanaz.

5. Criminal Minds -

It has shown me how to commit the perfect crime and fed my delusion that I can see into people's minds.

What does a photo of my son have to do with all this? Nothing. I just love this picture because he looks like he's pulling some wicked yo-yo move.

CraigO's

We just returned from eating at CraigO's pizza for the first time. (We visited the Mopac and 290 location.) Doug's evaluation of the regular pepperoni pizza wasn't stellar. He said there was too much sauce and the pepperoni wasn't very flavorful. I would guess that his evaluation of the atmosphere wasn't too stellar either. Our table had a serious wobble, the pizza perch was precarious, and we had two nutty children bouncing around it all.

However, it is my new favorite place because they serve gluten-free pizza. And it was actually quite good! I thought pizza was a thing of the past for me. I had put it on a shelf, with flour tortillas and Texadelphia. I experienced a glimmer of hope when I saw GF pizza on their menu, but after my first experience with gluten-free bread, I was dubious (to put it mildly).

It far exceeded my expectations. The crust had sort of the texture of a potato cake or something. I know that sounds strange, but it was tasty! Hooray!

P.S. - I still haven't checked to see whether or not Chuy's Deluxe Tomatillo Sauce is GF. I fear that the disappointment of a "no" might send me into a spiral of despair.

My New Favorite Words

I've been living gluten-free for one week now and I've learned several things. The number one thing being this: Many people have no idea what I'm talking about when I say "gluten-free". So here's a little education (my reference is The Living Gluten-Free Answer Book by Suzanne Bowland).

[Side note: I told Lila that she should ask Daddy for a nickel every time she hears Mommy say the words "gluten-free". She'll be rich before she's 10-years-old.]

Gluten is a protein found in wheat, barley, and rye. If you are gluten-intolerant or have celiac disease, you cannot digest gluten. It causes a whole host of problems, many of which I have. To eliminate these problems and allow your body a chance to heal, you stop eating all sources of gluten.

That is much easier said than done since gluten is everywhere and I love most forms of it! Bread as you know it is off limits. I cannot eat Peproni Rolls or Cheesesteaks or flour tortillas anymore! Gah! Buuut, it is worth the sacrifice. And, most importantly, Dr. Pepper is gluten-free. If it weren't... well, I prefer not to think about that.

Anyway, I decided to go gluten-free for two weeks to see if I notice any changes in my body. I'm only halfway through, but I have already seen a dramatic improvement. I have dealt with debilitating fatigue (like, nearly every day) for all of my adult life. . . until four days ago. Honestly, it feels so good that part of me does not believe it can last.

I have also not had that bloated, over-full feeling all week (even though i've been eating almost non-stop). And suddenly, I can feel caffiene in my body. I have always been able to drink soda and/or coffee right up until I crawl into bed with no problem. Now I can't drink coffee in the evening anymore and even a soda with dinner might cause problems. (i'm assuming this means that my body was so messed up before that it was not absorbing all that caffiene, but i really don't know.)

My one big question at this point: Is Deluxe Tomatillo Sauce gluten-free?

Kids' TV

I feel the need to vent about the preschool-centric television programming that I'm subjected to on a daily basis. I don't know. It's not so much venting as reviewing. There are a few that I hate though and I'll be sure to tell you which ones they are!

For the record, Eli only watches one 30-minute video per day and Lila watches two (except on thursdays, when we watch a movie after dinner). So I don't see all of these every day. Thank goodness!

Olivia - I'll start off with one that I actually enjoy. I like Olivia's imagination and creativity. She reminds me of Lila! Her parents are present and not annoying. Her siblings and friends are cute. Although, I do think that Julian (is that his name?) needs to learn healthy boundaries and maybe take an anti-depressant.

Ni Hao, Kai-Lan - I don't like this one, but I have no good reason why. I will say that the little monkey, Ho Ho (i think), is very cute. And the show teaches good things about watching people and figuring out what they're feeling from what has happened and the way they are behaving. But I still don't like it.

Yo Gabba Gabba! - The first time I saw this show, I was totally creeped out. Now I love it! I admit it... I even sing along and get up and dance during "dancy-dance time". I'm still disturbed by one thing though. It seems a bit twisted that DJ Lance can sprinkle magic dust across the others and put them in some sort of hyper-sleep when he's tired of playing with them. It might not bother me except that they always protest when he says it's almost time to go. I interpret their childish disappointment as fear and desperate cries for help. However, I think that says a lot more about me than it does about the show.

The Upside Down Show - This one is okay, I guess. It's just kind of odd. More wacky Aussie's with their own TV show. I think the middle of the night is a good time for it to be on. And yet, I occasionally record it so that the kids can watch. Hmm...

Wow Wow Wubbzy - I kinda like this one too. There's something about the simple, solid animation that I like watching. The characters are not offensive and, of course, it teaches good interpersonal skills. This show has done terrible things for my vocabulary, however. And sometimes I say, "Wow! Wow! Lila!" just for fun.

Little Bill - I love Little Bill! I may be predisposed to liking it because it was created by Bill Cosby, but I don't care. Little Bill is cute. I love Alice the Great and Elephant. The family is fun to watch. I am slightly creeped out by the friend with the crazy orange hair (andrew?), but I can look past this.

Oobi - Strange. Creepy. Weird. IQ lowering. Fascinating like a car wreck.

Gullah Gullah Island - I just find it odd that this is even on TV. It is a 10 or 15 year old show. It's mildly entertaining, but tends a bit too much toward worshipping the created rather than the Creator. Maybe that was just one episode, but it left a bad taste in my mouth. Plus, the giant frog is unnerving.

Maggie and the Ferocious Beast - I like this one. It's just kind of a happy little show. That's really all I have to say about that.

Blue's Clues - Blue's Clues is another one that weirded me out the first time I saw it. I got used to it pretty quickly though and now I can appreciate it. The kids like it and it's mildly educational. Also, Doug and I like to do imitations of Blue. Doug is much better than I am.

Pinky Dinky Doo - I love this show! It teaches great vocabulary words, always has a good lesson, and has little story comprehension games at the end. It's a great imagination builder too.

Jack's Big Music Show - I've only seen a few episodes of this one, but it's fun. It's actually funny enough at times to make me laugh, which is nice. However, I don't recommend watching the same episode over and over again. It can cause you to develop a twich. Or a homicidal streak. But most likely just a twitch.

***

Egad, there are a lot of shows that my kids watch! I'm going to stop here for now and do the rest another day.

Back to Normal

Whew! With Doug being gone for the past two weeks, I couldn't even think about updating my blog. That uses more brain power than I had at the end of each day! But now he is back and all is well at the Peeler House.

I'm very (very) excited to announce that the kids and I will all be going to BSF next year. I signed us up a couple of weeks ago and I can't wait for September! I love BSF for my own spiritual growth and I remember Lila learning so much the one year that she was in it before. Now, for one year only, we will all three be able to go to the same class and we'll all be studying the book of Isaiah!

The daytime women's classes have kids' classes for 2-year-olds through Kindergarten. Once Lila hits 6 years old, I'll have to beg Doug or Irene to go to an evening class because that's where they have classes for school-aged kids... Meh. I'll deal with that when the time comes!

I keep thinking this weekend is over, but it's not. We'll have Doug home with us tomorrow too! He and Lila are planning to paint the playroom. They bought the paint today and it's a color somewhere between burnt orange and brick red. I'll take photos.

Have I mentioned lately just how very crazy I am?

Warning: What follows in this post might convince you that I am a few bricks shy of a load (or whatever your favorite euphemism is). This is why I generally keep this kind of information to myself. Today, I decided to share with the world in the hope that someone else I know is as crazy as me!

This past week has slipped by far too quickly. Doug's business trip looms on the horizon and my level of anxiety continues to increase. As my anxiety increases, I become more forgetful, hence my going 9 days without a post (as well as any typos or grammatical errors that might be contained in this one. I also went several days without taking my medication. It was not intentional. I just plain forgot.

If you've never taken antidepressants, then you might not know that just forgetting to take them for several days is really not a good thing. For example, there are physical side effects. The first one to pop up for me is extreme dizziness, although that was not too bad this time. Then I begin to have mood swings. That is, I have them more often than usual and the swings are much more extreme. Then the really interesting things begin to happen.

I'm now at the point where little neuroses and symptoms of my illness start popping back up. ** These are things that I might not have even noticed were absent... until they came back. For example, my fear of having a psychotic break is coming back. (i could write an entire post on that one! i just did a web search to see if there's a name for that particular phobia and just reading the links that came up freaked me out!)

There's also my obsessive (or is it compulsive?) checking. Best example: I set the alarm before I go upstairs to bed every night. The alarm pad is in the laundry room. The cats like to explore the laundry room and I have this fear of accidentally locking one of them in there overnight. So, on a normal night, I go into the laundry room and set the alarm, do a quick kitty check, close the door and go on to bed.

On a "crazy night", I can't seem to convince myself that there's no cat in there. I look carefully in the room, then I look for all of the cats out of the room. Sometimes, even when the door to the laundry room is shut and I can see all three cats in front of me, I still feel uneasy and have to make myself walk away and go to bed.

This afternoon, I took the cake (i alluded to this on Facebook) by having an anxiety attack over having someone else touch the laundry. Doug had done a load of laundry while I was gone in the morning and I came home to find him folding it. This, in itself, was wonderful! And it would have been nothing but wonderful if he had gone ahead and put the clothes away too.

What happened, however, was that he left the clothes on the couch and went to get some work done while I could watch the kids. I went to finish the job and I just froze. The stacks were not lined up correctly and there were mixed items in some of the stacks and the towels weren't folded just the way that I do it and and and... I literally had to walk away and calm down because my heart was starting to race and I couldn't think straight.

I was finally able to deal by going over there and moving things into the appropriate stacks and re-folding the towels. I did this a few minutes at a time because I would quickly begin feeling overwhelmed.

Wow. No wonder I don't usually share these kinds of things with people. :o)~

**Note (for those of you who are concerned) - I have taken my medication for the past two days and will continue to do so. It just takes awhile for it to get fully back into my system. In the meantime, I get to view myself as a lab specimen.

No! No! No!

We had a fabulous weekend in Dallas! We had a big adventure on Saturday that started with the Dallas World Aquarium, which is just about the coolest thing ever. It's more like an indoor jungle than an aquarium and it's beautiful! I almost fainted over a pair of manatees they had there. I wanted to hug them so bad I could have burst! The kids enjoyed it too, especially once we got a snack into them.

From there, we took a horse-drawn carriage ride around downtown. Even if you've done this before, I'll bet you never went to a drive-through ATM in a carriage! Lila was beside herself over getting to ride in a "one-horse open carriage!" This was definitely her favorite part of the weekend. Eli really enjoyed it too, although we had no idea how much he enjoyed it until we tried to drag him away from the horse.

He pretty much screamed all through the two-block walk to Spaghetti Warehouse, and for half of the time we were there. I finally got him to chill out a little bit, but he was a pill for the rest of the weekend. I think the boy just got WAY overstimulated. Breakfast with Grandma and Grandad the next morning involved some more screaming, as well as our drive home. (see video)

What the Hell is that Smell?

When the children and I left the house yesterday to go to the gym, the house smelled fine. That scent of HOME that you can no longer detect because it's so familiar. The smell of spring, of coffee and conditioned air... and a touch of cat.

When we came home from the gym-- Well, I opened the door and said something along the lines of "Eeaarrgghhh! Bleck! Ew!" My first thought was that one of the cats had decided to pee on the carpet in a fit of rebellion. The source of the smell was clearly on the first floor, but that's as close as I could get to finding it. I walked over the entire surface of the ground floor of our house using tiny little baby steps, trying to find a wet spot.

In retrospect, that's disgusting. I was trying to step in cat pee. Huh. It seemed like a good idea at the time!

Anyway, I could not find a wet spot anywhere in the house. I decided to attack the litter boxes, just in case the smell was coming from there. I scooped out what little had been deposited since the night before, put in extra deodorizer and extra litter. I sprayed the whole place with vanilla-scented air neutralizer.

But it was no good. All my efforts were in vain. The house still smelled disgusting. It was too hot to open the windows and I was at a loss as to what I should try next. I finally just gave up and hoped that inspiration would hit while I was doing my normal things.

Well, inspiration did not hit me, but the smell did! I went to the kitchen sink to wash my hands and noticed that the odor was very strong there. My first thought was the garbage disposal. As I leaned down to sniff (another questionable decision), my head passed by the kitchen wash cloth.

Oh. My. Goodness.

Either a cat jumped up onto the counter and carefully straddled the sink so as to pee directly onto the cloth and nothing else, or someone broke into the house while I was gone and replaced my clean cloth with one that had been inside the belly of a dragon.

You might not find either of those scenarios very likely, but you didn't smell that cloth!

You know, when we were looking at houses this last time, we were really hoping to get something larger than what we were in. We found this house, spacious and beautiful - just what we wanted! I had no idea what I was getting into. We have the same number of belongings as before (more or less), but so much more space to scatter them across. I can't keep this place clean for anything!

I still love this house, but there are days when I think longingly of the one we lived in when we first got married. It was a LOT smaller and should have been so much easier to clean. If I had worked as hard then as I do now (trust me - i ain't claiming to be cinderella), I'm pretty sure it would have been spotless. Oh well...

So... my birthday is only four days away. I'm not sure what this says about me, but I try to drop as many hints as politely possible before the day and then set my expectations nice and low once it comes. That way I can be delighted by all the birthday wishes. One year, while I was in college, I went with this approach and my roommates didn't believe that I was actually surprised by the surprise party they had thrown me.

They figured that I had expected it, but I was completely caught off-guard and loved it! (up to that point, it had been a pretty crummy birthday. i started off the day by spilling some sort of food or drink on a brand new outfit and it just kept going that way.) Not that I'm implying I think anything like that's going to happen this year. I'm just sayin'...

I'm Back!

You know, I faithfully kept up this blog for six years (what?!?) before wimping out. I have already given all my Facebook/lame excuses for why. But I've come to realize what an important place this held in my life. There is a writer inside me that dreams of one day writing books. Since I don't have the time (or, let's be honest, the patience) for that at this stage of my life, my blog gives me a place to satisfy the writing itch in little spurts.

And I'm able to share much more meaningfully in this format than on Facebook. Yes, I update Facebook more often, but anything I want to say has to be limited to 420 characters. Not much room for embellishment there! And, most importantly, this blog is my baby book! I kept a real one for Lila's first year, but Eli has pretty much gotten the shaft.

I let his baby book fall to the wayside... well, from the start, really. This blog was where I always shared stories and development updates and posted the latest photos. Now there are at least four months of our lives that are lost in the vortex of Facebook updates. That's not okay with me - none of it is. And so I'm back. I'm not going to make any promises that I'm not sure I can keep, but it is my sincere INTENTION to begin posting regular updates here again.

For myself, if for no one else...

Oh, and this picture is the view from Grammie and Papa Joe's new front porch. Awesome!

Brr!!!

I am loving the cold weather we're finally having in Austin except for one thing. I'm tired all the time! I mean, more so than usual. I'm always a tired person with a disturbing ability to sleep, but I've been walking around feeling drugged for the past week. Still, that's just one complaint. The list of things I love about cold weather is much longer!

I didn't watch the whole game last night (Texas vs. Nebraska), but what I did watch was annoying. I can't believe we were nearly kept out of the championships by a team that's nowhere near us in the rankings! I thought for sure we were going to lose it. In fact, I'm not sure we should have won. Don't get me wrong. I'm glad that we won, but I'm not so confident in the way that we did it. Oh well, I'm sure I'll have forgotten by the time I'm watching us play in the Whatever Bowl!

Well, now there's been an hour delay while we ate dinner (Hawaiian Pork Ribs, avocado, and blackberries) and it's time for the kids to start heading for bed. Doug is the Putter-to-Bedder, but I also need to take a shower. I've just discovered how luxurious it feels to take a shower in the evening. I don't have to worry about anyone starting to cry or needing me while I'm bathing and I get to go straight into my jammies when I'm done! :)

No More Little Peelers

For those who haven't heard, we have officially decided that we are done with having children. It was, for me at least, a difficult decision. I mean, when I'm pregnant and right after my babies are born, I'm certain that I never want to go through that again. (and i question why the heck i went through it the first time!) After several months, however, the amnesia sets in and I start thinking longingly of pregnancy. [shudder]

This last time that I started to feel that way, I took it to God for an answer. I fully expected Him to tell me it was time to pop out another hit, but I was in for a surprise. The clear message was that we should have no more children. I couldn't figure why He would give me that answer, so I kep questioning Him and myself. (Is that reeeaaally what He said? . . . Yeah, it really was.)

Then I had an amazing time of communion with God during a church service where He spoke clearly to me on a few different topics, one of them being this one. The message (given by the Always Inspiring Ted Beasley) was on quitting - when you should, when you shouldn't, and stop complaining either way. He mentioned that one time when it's appropriate to quit an endeavor is when the end result does not justify the pain caused in the process.

And then it hit me: This was why God didn't want me to have any more children. Lila and Eli are well worth the pain that the pregnancies and depression caused. But God does not want me (us) to willingly, knowingly engage in that kind of difficulty again. It's not just my own pain that must be considered (that i can more easily overlook). There is also pain for Doug and those members of my family and friends who are so sacrificial and helpful during difficult times. And if we had another child, this time Lila would be old enough to really be impacted by my depression.

It was both a humbling and a warm feeling. Humbling to think that so much pain could be caused by my actions (getting pregnant, i mean - i know that i can't control the depression 'cause BOY have i tried). And it made me feel warm and loved to know that God cares for us and does not desire pain for us. I have two amazing children and my responsibility now is to raise them and teach them to love God and and pursue their passions.

At the same time, it was a difficult decision for me to accept. Part of me felt as though I were rejecting a child and telling him/her that they weren't worth it. I had to remind myself that I was not rejecting a child, I was just choosing not to create a child. It's a subtle, but profound, difference that's difficult to explain.

And now I'm at peace with that decision and Doug and I are trying to decide which one of us is getting "fixed".

Delinquent

Boy, I'm having a really hard time keeping up with this blog. I get backed up on email and I do most of my updating through Facebook. I need to put forth more effort, however, because not everyone who checks this blog is on Facebook! (hmm... heard all this before?) Plus, this blog is better than any baby book (and i don't even HAVE a baby book for Eli) (well, not one that i have ever actually kept up with).

I have a feeling that Christmas is going to sneak up on me this year. I mean, Halloween was gone for a week before I fully realized that it's November. Now I've got myself booked up on the weekends for the rest of the month. I keep wanting to start my Christmas shopping and then thinking it's too early. I think maybe I should go ahead and do it after all or I'll find myself suddenly out of time!

I don't even remember if I have posted since I started doing The Lord's Table, but it's going really well. I have lost a little weight and I'm really delighting in God in ways that I haven't in a long time. And I don't spend all of my time thinking about food anymore! This is an ongoing process and I'll have to be vigilant to keep my old habits from creeping back in, but I'm experiencing sweet freedom!