Vacation Photos, Part 2

Astride my steed on the Caro-Seuss-al. I've really got to re-think those sunglasses...

After Doug tried to take his own photo 3 times, I finally took pity
on him. Doug is the designated trip photographer because I tend
to get distracted and/or only take photos of strange things (like stray cats and squirrels).

This was a surprisingly fun ride based on The Cat in the Hat. You
rode a couch through the story and it was cute, spin-y, and blessedly air-conditioned.

Hot, sweaty Peelers. The sun was brutal!

The Hulk roller coaster. It was a good one - lots of screaming!

The Hulk car from The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift. Not that
either of us has ever seen this movie, but we knew Eli would dig the car.

Wolverine: Is this your first time here?
Doug: Yes.
Wolverine: Are you enjoying it?
Doug: Yes!
Wolverine: Of course you are! I'm here!

There was nothing in the Jurassic Park section of the park that would
not result in us getting very wet, but we couldn't resist a photo of the
jeep. Oddly, there were several kid-geared rides in that section.

The proud sons of Durmstrang. We were headed back to Hogwarts
for one last look and happened upon this show.

The lovely ladies of Beauxbatons Academy. We got another
photo where it looks as though they are all falling over backward.

Puking Pastilles at Zonko's joke shop. Okay, no more Potter photos - I promise!

Transformers 3D ride was awesome! And I love the giant Optimus Prime on the roof!

This is not a great photo, but it was a great ride. Revenge of the
Mummy was my favorite ride, outside of The Wizarding World of Harry Potter!

Optimus Prime. These costumes were amazing!

Bumblebee. I kind of wanted to take a photo with these guys, but didn't feel like standing in line.

Megatron. It seemed like they had a different bot out there every time we walked by!

We took a rest break in the middle of the day on Monday. Doug had
a little fun with my new toy and my sleeping self - Crookshanks
fell onto my head about 15 seconds after this shot was taken.

That Pesky Dog with The Terminator. The 3D show was just okay, in my opinion.

The Simpsons Ride - this was another surprisingly good one. We liked it well enough that we rode it twice!

Beetlejuice's Graveyard Revue. It was tolerable.

Despicable Me Minion Mayhem/Gru's House. It was a cute ride/show.



Livin' large at the Hard Rock Hotel. Staying on site was most definitely worthwhile!

Vacation Photos, Part 1

Here's how this vacation breaks down for me:

 

1. The Wizarding World of Harry Potter

2. Everything Else

 

So that's how I'm going to approach photos. Tonight it will be Potter-y photos and tomorrow night will be everything else.

 

The entrance to Hogsmeade. Bliss began here.

Peelers posing with the Hogwarts Express. They are working
on an actual train that will run between the two parks!

The whole street was enchanting! I had the biggest grin on my face.

Inside the Three Broomsticks. This is the spot where Professor
Slughorn convenes the Slug Club in the movie.

First good view of Hogwarts Castle. I almost fainted.

Hagrid's Hut. This was along the path to the Flight of the Hippogriff coaster.

Doesn't it look real?!? So amazingly well done!

The entrance to Dumbledore's office. I so wanted to duck
under the rail and take a photo inside the wings!

Geeking out in the Owl Post office. Grin, still firmly in place.

The Monster Book of Monsters. It moved and snarled!

Beautiful! The fake snow was the perfect touch.

This was the funny and friendly guy who worked at the entrance
to the Three Broomsticks (which you can see behind us).

Honeydukes. I just realized that I forgot to buy a Chocolate Frog! DOH!

Zonko's joke shop. They even sold Extendable Ears!

Sign for Hogsmeade Station. This was really full of lockers where
you stored loose items while on the Dragon Challenge - a great roller coaster!

Another view of the Hogwarts Express. Looks like it needs a good washing to make it gleam!

Butterbeer cart. The butterbeer and pumpkin juice were both good, but very sweet!

I told Doug that we should move to Orlando so that I could work
somewhere in Hogsmeade. In reality, I want to live there.

The alley behind Dervish & Banges. Just thought it was lovely. :)

Equation

Boys and girls must not be rude in play. -- McGuffey Primer

In the car this evening, on the way home from dinner, I started asking Lila random math addition facts. Eli surprised me by spouting a few of his own. Then it got kind of random.

Me: What does Lila plus Eli equal?
Lila: An argument!

There was some discussion of putting Lila + Eli = Argument on a shirt, but I suggested that we should change the equation instead. For example, Lila + Eli = Team. One of the kids changed the subject.

Oh well.

Handwriting

Let us never forget that what we are is more important than what we do. -- Hudson Taylor

Thank goodness, Doug is home! Sometime yesterday afternoon, I ran into a big patch of I Don't Wanna. I didn't even want to bathe when I woke up this morning. (I'm suffering from the knowledge that I'll be on vacation in two days and I want it to start now.) It was only through prayer and obedience that I took care of my responsibilities today and we actually did get most of our school work done. We might have finished entirely, except for a bit of a battle with Lila over handwriting.

I have complete confidence that by the time Eli is in first grade, he will have better handwriting than everyone else in the house. I have terrible handwriting, though it can be mostly legible if I print slowly. Doug has even worse handwriting. My poor daughter is fighting a hard battle against a genetic predisposition toward bad handwriting (if such a thing exists). Unfortunately, for both of us, I suspect that this will be a long-term struggle.

Eli, on the other hand, has great fine motor skills. He's been better than Lila at coloring neatly for at least a year (since he was 4 and she was 7). I would never point that out, but Lila noticed and mentioned it herself. Now he's learning to write and that's looking pretty good too. If good handwriting comes easily to him, I'm pretty sure that Lila is going to be pissed. Being a big sister, she's always on the look-out for things that are "not fair!"

Juggling

The Un-Cleaners

You may delay, but time will not. -- Poor Richard's Almanack

It seems as though I can never keep all aspects of my life in good working order at the same time. Just when I get a good thing going in one area of my life, I realize that I've let another one fall by the wayside. This time, I've gotten ever so much better at keeping my calendar updated and preparing for homeschool ahead of time, but my house is in shambles! With the disappearance of Summer Free Time, I've lost control of the house cleaning.

As I sit here and type this, I am looking at a living room cluttered with toys, papers, remote controls, pillows, and shoes. And that's just the clutter! I'm afraid to look too closely at the things that need real cleaning. My stove top is starting to look like the diorama of some alien planet! Yesterday, I managed to find five minutes to tidy up the guest room and that felt like a major achievement. I just don't understand how Born Organized people do it!

The one positive thing I can say is this: After a nearly 11-year battle, I have finally defeated the Laundry Monster! I have mastered the One Load Per Day rule and it works! Sometimes I even have to hunt down enough dirty laundry to make a load. I never thought I'd be able to say that.

Smooth

Sure, they like me. But this guy is their favorite!

No man is poor who has a godly mother. -- Abraham Lincoln

Doug's away at an audio conference (which I believe to be an excuse for audio geeks to get together to drink beer and have jam sessions) and things are going swimmingly. I never worry as much when his travels are within driving distance and only for a few days. It's when he gets on an airplane that I get twitchy. The longer he has to be on the airplane, the more twitchy I get. And the longer he's gone, the more starved for grown-up conversation I get!

But this trip is nearby and only takes him away for three nights, of which this is the second. Yesterday was easy because the kids were at school for most of the day. Today, being a homeschool day, presented a much bigger challenge, so I started off my morning by praying that God would give me a double-dose of patience, since I'd be filling the role of two parents. Lila, Eli, and I were together from waking to bedtime - so many opportunities for conflict!

Thankfully, it was a great day. I was uncommonly flexible. (i tend to get very protective of our schedule and routine on homeschool days.) We were able to get all of our school work done in plenty of time for chores and playtime and a surprise dinner out to Kerbey Lane. The only time I got grouchy was right around bath time. Not much of a surprise. That is my least favorite part of the day because I'm always tired by that point and I don't like getting my hands wet.

(I know. I have issues. This is not news to me.)

Now, if I can just manage to get both kids ready and off to school ON TIME tomorrow morning, then I think it will be smooth sailing until Doug gets home on Thursday!

Gushing

I just hope they don't do this to their classroom teachers!

School at home is good. -- New England Primer

I am thankful, every day, that we are able to send our kids to Veritas Academy! Seriously. It is a wonderful school and I feel so blessed by them! I was originally planning to exclusively homeschool my kids. It's something I've always wanted to do because I love learning and teaching. I did lots of research and did a little at-home preschool for Lila and a few of her friends.

When I finally decided it was time to pick a Kindergarten curriculum, I freaked out! There are approximately 735 different Kindergarten curricula to choose from. Not to mention all the different pieces you can pick up from here and there, and all the ways that you can homeschool for free. Then there's the matter of what needs to be taught in Kinder and what doesn't, which everyone has a different opinion on. I was on the verge of a total brain meltdown!

Then I saw Veritas mentioned in an email on a homeschooling Yahoo group I was part of. I was intrigued enough to take a closer look. Lo and behold! The school was five minutes from my house, and provided a Classical Christian education in a University Model format. There are entire books written on what each element of that description means, but here's a brief description. What I will tell you is that it was exactly what I was looking for (without even knowing it)!

The kids get to experience a classroom environment on Monday and Wednesday and I get to homeschool them on Tuesday and Thursday. Friday is a Flex Day, which has grand aspirations, but really turns out to be the day that we catch up, run errands, and have doctor's appointments. The curricula are chosen for me and the homework laid out by the classroom teachers. My job is the FUN part - teaching the material! It is the best of both worlds!

What might be the very best part of all, for me, is how very supportive the staff and faculty are. They do everything they can to communicate frequently and clearly. They are happy to answer questions and sit down to discuss concerns. They provide training in how to teach the curricula as well as opportunities to learn how to be a better parent and person. I don't know what the kids would say is the best part of Veritas for them, but I do know that they both love it!

One of my Top 10 Veritas moments: Lila was being a butt one morning (last school year) and took so long to get ready that Doug had to leave for work without taking her to school. That meant that I had to take her to school. Not her favorite choice. She decided that she was not going to put her shoes on and she was not going to school. I calmly explained that going to school was her responsibility and I would be taking here there - shoes or no shoes.

I loaded her up into the car and delivered her to the office. They called the Head of the Grammar School down and I privately explained the situation to her. She said, "Okay, no problem." Then she spoke privately with Lila. I left, knowing she was in good hands. I later found out that Lila was told basically the same thing I had told her - that being in the classroom was her responsibility and that's where she needed to be.

She went through most of the morning with no shoes on, contentedly put them on when the teacher finally asked her to, and all was well. The whole situation could NOT have been handled more gracefully or lovingly and it never happened again.

Music

What is a home without a Bible? 'Tis a home where daily bread for the body is provided, but the soul is never fed. -- Charles Meigs

I am not a fan of Contemporary Christian Music (CCM), generally speaking. I put up with it because most of it does glorify God and you can't find really cool Christian music on the radio. Well, except when it finds its way onto other radio stations. Those songs don't usually get played on CCM stations, however, because they aren't overtly Christian enough. So, I split my time between the best of the available CCM stations and KGSR, which is a perfectly Austin-y radio station.

(To be fair, I do like some of what I hear on the CCM station.)

What this post is really about is a band that I discovered through a Pandora station and I love them! They have beautiful songs and great music and they are interesting! The band is called Gungor and here's my favorite song, so far:

BEAUTIFUL THINGS
by Gungor

All this pain...
I wonder if I'll ever find my way.
I wonder if my life could really change, at all.
All this earth...
Could all that is lost ever be found?
Could a garden come up from this ground, at all?

You make beautiful things,
You make beautiful things out of dust.
You make beautiful things,
You make beautiful things out of us.

All around,
Hope is springin up from this old ground.
Out of chaos, life is being found in You.

You make beautiful things,
You make beautiful things out of dust.
You make beautiful things,
You make beautiful things out of us.

You make me new,
You are making me new.
You make me new,
You are making me new. (making me new.)

Sinners

We are not amused.

The Bible will keep you from sin or sin will keep you from the Bible. -- D. L. Moody

My kids have been at each other's throats today! It's like somebody fed them Crazy Juice for breakfast. Often, when I'm having my Bible time in the morning, they will start arguing downstairs. What makes me nuts -- and this is what they did today -- is when they bring the argument upstairs to my bedroom. Do they feel the need for an audience, or what? I'm trying to have a few minutes of peaceful prayer, for cryin' out loud!

This morning, after finally managing to eject them from my bedroom, they took their arguing to another part of the house. There was no peace until we started our school work. That was all fine until I asked Lila to re-do some very sloppy handwriting work. She tried turning her attitude on me at that point, which did not work out for her. She got to spend the rest of the morning in her room. And on and on it went, all day.

The worst of it definitely came when Lila found out that Eli was one chore away from earning a video, but she had lost that opportunity for the day. I went outside to talk on the phone for a few minutes and came back in to find Eli, sitting on the toilet and screaming. Lila had tried to prevent him from doing his last chore because she didn't want him to get a video either. She attempted to trap him in the hall closet and managed to smash his finger in the process.

SERIOUSLY?!?

They were still crazy, all the way up until bedtime, but it had taken a more playful turn by dinner, thank goodness. Doug and I had already decided that we were going to banish them to the kitchen for the remainder of the meal if they started even one argument at the dining room table! Little sinners.

I really hope that tomorrow is less exciting.

Tantrum

In a calm sea every man is a pilot. -- John Ray, 1705

I avoid talking about politics as much as possible. I find it, by and large, to be fruitless and annoying.

[mounting soap box]

What I find even more annoying, at the moment, is the way the House, Senate, and President are all acting like little kids!

Forget which side of the policy debate you stand on, they are acting like 3-year-olds fighting over a favorite toy.

Actually, I think the image that reflects the situation best is this: They are sitting in a room, with their backs turned to one another, holding their breath.

Eventually, someone is going to have to breathe and then they're going to look stupid!

Pass a friggin' budget and then address the Affordable Care Act separately.

Don't even get me started on how stupid it seems to me to go further into debt... in order to pay our debts. That is the opposite of logic.

[leaving soap box]

Thank you and good night.

Eli for President!

Evaluation

Good children must fear God all day. -- New England Primer

Sometime before school started this year, our family began the practice (tradition?) of evaluating our day over dinner. We first answer the question, "What do you feel that you did well today?" After we've all had our turn, we answer the question, "What do you feel that you did not do well today?"

That has two follow-up questions: "What do you need to do to make that right?" and/or "What will you do differently next time?"

This sort of reflection and self-evaluation comes easily to some of us (Eli and me) and it's very difficult for others (Doug and Lila). I think we've finally gotten a good rhythm going now. When we sit down to eat, we pray together, and then have 2 (or more) minutes of silence. That gives everyone a chance to think through their day as they munch and come up with their answers to both questions. Then, once everyone is ready, we share.

This whole thing was my idea (picked up at Veritas' Family Education Week), but even I have been surprised at how beneficial it's been! When we first began the practice, the kids had a very difficult time apologizing - especially to one another. Over time, they've gotten much more comfortable with apologies, as well as with asking for, offering, and receiving forgiveness. I'm REALLY proud of them!

It's also been a good way for Doug and me to practice transparency and accountability with our kids. (that is grammatically correct. look it up.) We are giving examples of how to celebrate our victories and how to humbly admit our failures. We apologize to one another just as often as they do and we are open to the kids' suggestions for how we can make amends and how we could do things differently.

Lila and Eli don't always enjoy it, sometimes I'm so tired that I don't want to share, and it's a daily labor of love for Doug, but it's one of our best family traditions!

Shameless

Don't set foot on the path of the wicked; don't proceed in the way of evil ones. -- Proverbs 4:14

It is no secret that I dislike cockroaches. (biggest. understatement. ever.)

Actually, it's more like a big ugly phobia. When I am confronted with a-- Okay, first of all, I refer to them as Evil Hell Beasts, or EHBs for short. Just saying (or thinking) the 'c' word is enough to make me shudder and squirm.

Anyway, when I am confronted with an EHB, there is usually a lot of jumping and screaming... and today was no exception. I don't know what has gotten into the little bastards, but they keep finding their way into our house and that is not okay.

This evening, just before I started cooking dinner, I looked up and saw one in the living room. Cue the jumping and screaming. My daughter, 8 years old and maddeningly level-headed (AT TIMES), calmly took my arm and ushered me out of the room, saying, "Don't look at it. Just go cook dinner."

I took this to mean that she was going to deal with The Issue, but she just sat down and started playing her video game again. With a definite note of panic in my voice, I told her to "Kill it!" I have no shame, folks.

She said, "I will not kill it! I'll catch it and let it go in the grass."

This sounded like the stupidest thing I'd ever heard, but I couldn't argue with her. It's not like I was going to kill the thing myself and I couldn't have it running around the house. She grabbed a tissue and tried to catch it, but she only succeeded in chasing it under a living room speaker. So, she went back to her video game. Come on!

I thought I'd be safe in the kitchen, but the next thing I know, the EHB is cruising around the bar and into the kitchen WITH me! Again, there was jumping and screaming. We're not talking about little fake screams here. Before this was over, my throat hurt from the screaming.

Then began this awful dance of Lila trying to catch the EHB. The EHB hiding until she gave up. And then the EHB chasing me around the kitchen so that I jumped and screamed. A lot.

I think the worst part was when Lila tried to catch the thing and it accelerated and she giggled and said, as though this were somehow endearing, "They are fast little suckers!" I almost vomited.

I finally declared to anyone who would listen that I was not going back into the kitchen until it was gone. I even texted Doug and told him that I hoped he wasn't very hungry because I couldn't cook dinner while that thing was trying to kill me-- er, I mean 'touch' me. I even thought about going to a neighbor's house and asking him to come and rescue me (they weren't home).

At one point, Lila said to me, with a great deal of exasperation, "You're afraid of a little bug! . . . Well, it's medium, but it's NOT going to hurt you!"

Clearly, she doesn't understand the irrational aspect of phobias. By the time Doug got home from work, I was standing in the front yard (increased heart rate and sweating - no joke). The first words I said to him were, "I'm not going back into the house until it's dead."

Praise God, Doug finds this little "quirk" of mine endearing. He dealt with The Issue and I was able to come back inside and cook dinner. It took about half an hour before I stopped periodically whimpering and shuddering.

Brothers

Not a bad boy. (Yet.)

A bad boy has woe. -- McGuffey Primer

Doug and I like to use real stories from our lives as examples when explaining things to the kids. The other night, we were totally selling our brothers out by telling stories of the stupid things they did when they were young. It started off as a discussion of peer pressure (don't remember how we got to that topic in the first place).

And then it devolved into a sort of Oh-yeah-well-listen-to-what-my-brother-did!-fest. I'm not sure we conveyed quite the message we were going for, however. I think that all the giggling we did probably diluted the impact of the stories.

Highlights:

After band practice one night, Unnamed Brother #1 went joy-riding with some of his band mates. They were feeling feisty and decided to run over a trash-can with their car. (only a teenage boy would think THAT sounds like fun.) They were spotted by a person who got their license plate number and called the police. This resulted in arrested teenagers, a shocked and awed sibling, a very angry father, and a frighteningly silent ride home from the police station.

Unnamed Sibling #2 decided to sneak out of the house one night and steal his sibling's car to drive around town. (again with the joy-riding!) Unfortunately, this brother was not old enough to drive and he got pulled over by a cop who noticed that his headlights were not turned on. This also resulted in an arrested teenager, a shocked and awed sibling, a very angry father, and a frighteningly silent ride home from the police station.

I fully expect one of the kids to bring these things up at the next family gathering. Under the right circumstances, that could result in an Oh-yeah-well-listen-to-what-your-mom/dad-did!-fest. What hath we wrought!

Sarcasm

Incredible Hulk Pancake: Don't make
him angry. You wouldn't like him when
he's angry!

I cannot, nor I will not, hold me still. My tongue, though not my heart, shall have his will. -- Shakespeare

I am a very sarcastic person. Try as I might to be sweet and soft-spoken, the sarcasm fairly oozes from my being. A large portion of my family is this way, which is where I learned a lot of it. I have a caustic sense of humor.

Over the years, I have gotten better at holding my tongue - in certain situations. I do my best not to level smart-assed barbs at my children, for example. And I don't tell strangers when I think they are doing something stupid. But there are definite weaknesses in my Sarcasm Retaining Wall.

There are some people, in particular, who are able to get under my skin with very little effort. Unfortunately, I rarely hold my tongue in response. (Or rather, it must seem that way. Truly, you can't imagine the number of things that go through my head, but don't make it past my lips.) I have become a master of saying unloving things and labeling it as Brutally Honest, but No Offense.

At least one person has noticed, and today she was loving enough to bring it to my attention. I rapidly went through my typical responses: DEFENSIVE, ANGRY, SELF-RIGHTEOUS. What surprised me is that, just as rapidly, I settled into an unexpected response. It went something like this: "That's true. I recognize it. I own it. I need to change it."

Is that a new defense? Pretending not to be upset, so that the other person doesn't think I care what they have to say? Or is it a sign of growth? Humility? I guess the real test will come with time. Am I repentant; ready to change my path? Or do I go on with life as always, brushing off the advice that was given?

I've already mentioned that I try to be kind and hold my tongue, but I think I see the real problem here. Instead of trying to hold back the burning words, I should be praying that God would remove them altogether. If the corrosion is removed from my heart, then it cannot come out of my mouth.

Old prayer: "Lord, please help me to be loving toward _____. Help me speak to them kindly."

New prayer: "Lord, please change my heart. Fill it with words that build up, rather than words that destroy."

Freebrain!

Disclaimer: This post was composed by a woman with a headache. She cannot promise high quality writing.

This is one of the people who
makes my life freaking awesome!

All the streams flow to the sea, yet the sea is never full. -- Ecclesiastes 1:7

Life can be very much like running on a treadmill at times. Get up, eat breakfast, answer questions, feed the children and animals, do dishes, answer questions, eat lunch, clean the house, do laundry, answer questions, cook dinner, clean up after dinner, bathe the kids, put them to bed, stare stupidly into space, go to bed, get up tomorrow and do it all over again. I love life, but in the dark moments it can seem so pointless.

It is God's love for me that gives me purpose. A desire to please Him and know him better gives me drive and direction. For the longest time, I thought that I was who I was and there was no escaping or changing it. It's been a rough road getting here, but I now believe that I am who I am and God can change my heart while I change my habits. I mean really, I'm barely recognizable as the same person who moved to Austin in 1996!

The richness in daily life comes from relationship with others. Since I have made drastic cut-backs in my media time, I am finding (NOT surprisingly) that I crave more human interaction. Since I'm not constantly texting people and checking Facebook, I want to see people in person (or at least talk to them on the phone). And what a better conversation can be had in person than in brief bursts of noncontextualized information!

You'd better sit down for this one... I've actually started answering my phone when it rings because I want to talk to people!

With my TV viewing limited, I'm going to bed earlier and waking up more easily. Since I'm not allowing myself to do three things at once while watching TV, I'm finding it much easier to fall asleep when I do go to bed! Now that I've (mostly) tamed that damned Candy Crush beast, I have more time to read books, which is something that I dearly love. Already, I feel my ability to focus increasing and my mind sharpening!

I don't know if they have noticed, but I am giving my children much more undivided attention. That is priceless!

I still look longingly at my phone sometimes (thinking of Candy Crush) and wonder how many comments and 'Like's I've got on Facebook, but I am SO glad that God opened my eyes to the ways that I've been handicapping myself! When I look at what I was spending most of my time doing, it's no wonder that life was starting to seem pointless.

Crowded

My bed is like a little boat. -- Robert Louis Stevenson

At approximately 5:45 this morning, my little boat became so full that someone had to be thrown overboard. I woke to find that Eli had taken over most of my pillow and my side of the bed. He learned a long time ago that he should come to my side of the bed because he can crawl right across me and I'll never know it. If he comes to Doug's side of the bed, he finds himself lovingly returned to his own room.

So, I woke to find that my head was tucked onto the smallest corner of pillow and my body was straddling the uneven space where our mattresses meet. (After several years of trying to find a mattress that worked well for both of us, we gave up. I have mine and Doug has his and the difference in height is not typically a problem. It also provides a hard line to reference when quibbling about who is encroaching on whose side of the bed!)

Anyway, three in a bed is tolerable, if not comfortable. But 5:45 a.m. is when Lila showed up on Doug's side of the bed with bad dream issues. He thought he was going to tell her to squeeze in behind me ('cause i'll never know the difference, right?) until he discovered that Eli was already there. Four in a bed was not going to work for anyone, unless we had Lila lay horizontally below our feet, like a puppy.

He ended up grabbing his pillows and taking Lila back into her own room, where he finished the night on Eli's bed. What began as everyone in their own bed, ended with Eli on my side of the bed, me in the middle (refusing to give up on my beloved pillow), Lila in her own bed, and Doug in Eli's bed.

I wonder what would happen if we locked our bedroom door tonight...

Lila

My children take every opportunity to be silly, but they cut me no slack when I try to do the same. I tend to get That Look, along with an impressive-sounding, "Mo-om!" Aren't they a bit young to find my humor dorky? I thought that didn't start until they made it into the double-digit ages, but Lila has been giving me her patented Not Amused look since infancy!

This morning, we had to scale an all-hands-on-deck search party for Lila's school shoes. I couldn't restrain the urge to remind her that we would always know where her shoes were if she put them straight into her shoe basket after taking them off (like she's supposed to).

Aside from that, however, I kept my sense of humor about things. When we had been searching for 10 minutes (seriously), I started talking out loud in my best Announcer Voice.

"Will they find Lila's school shoes? Will she make it to class on time? Will she have to wear NON. UNIFORM. SHOES?!?"

Lila said, very matter-of-factly, "Mom! You can stop talking that way. You are not a person from a to-be-continued TV show from the '70s."

Where does she come up with this stuff? And how is she so good at making me feel like I'm the kid and she's the grown-up?

Wisdom

The one who walks with the wise will become wise... -- Proverbs 13:20

Do you have a wise person (or people) to walk through life with? I know some wise people, but it can't be said that I'm walking with them. Now and then, I think about asking another woman to be my mentor, but that is such an intimidating thing to ask a person. If someone came up to me and asked the same thing, I'm not sure whether I would run from her or just laugh. I don't think of myself as foolish, but neither do I think of myself as wise.

Doug and I are doing our part to offer what wisdom we do have by starting a small group/Bible study. We have led groups (both individually and as a couple) and been members of groups for most of the past 15 (me) to 20 (doug) years. The relationships that can come from regular meetings with a group of people who are pursuing God together can last a lifetime. And, as I think about it, it's a good reminder that we all have some wisdom to share!

I think I should do three things:

1. Make it a priority to hang out with the people I already know who can speak wisdom into my life. (I'm looking at you, Ellen and Renee!)

2. Look and pray for an opportunity to develop a relationship with another woman who is several years ahead of me in her parenting and marriage.

3. Begin now to pray for the people who will be in our small group, that God will prepare our hearts to love Him and love one another with wisdom.

Service

Do not withhold good. -- Proverbs 3:27

I'm having sort of an ugly battle with my flesh this evening. I am aware of a person who is in need of help for a while. It's not the sort of help that can be given with a polite smile and a nod. It's the sort of help that takes work. It will encroach on my tidy schedule and set pattern of life, if only for a day or two. I typically love to help people. It gives me great satisfaction. So why the struggle this time? What is it about this request that I find myself fighting against?

Perhaps because it touches a part of my life that I feel I only have tenuous control over? It's not my job to be in control anyway! Because it requires using a "muscle" that I'm not particularly gifted in? Jesus never said that serving others would be comfortable! You know what else is not comfortable? Growth. This is looking to me like a huge opportunity for growth. I will offer my help to this person because it is what I know I should do.

The question is: Will I approach this opportunity with a fixed mindset or a growth mindset?

Eli

Sitting in a chair? You're doin' it wrong.

God is with me at all times. -- McGuffey Primer

For those who aren't aware, we took Eli to see an endocrinologist today. He's always been a tiny guy, hovering around the 3rd percentile for height (on the growth charts). His pediatrician has never been concerned about it, so I haven't been either.

When his first year of school began to get closer, I did start to worry a little bit. In Pre-K, no one is going to notice if you're the shortest kid. The older you get, the more people will notice. Now, if he's going to be a short dude, that's fine.

There are plenty of short dudes in our families. There are plenty of average and tall dudes, as well. I just wanted to make sure that this was a normal short stature and not the result of a medical problem. So, his doctor ordered a bone age test. It's quite simple; they take an x-ray of his wrist and send the film to a specialist, who determines his bone age. That test came back showing that his bone age was only 3.5 years (his physical age being 5 years).

That was enough of a discrepancy to warrant some blood work and a trip to the endocrinologist, to make sure he didn't have a hormone problem. The blood tests were all normal. It took forever to get in to see the specialist (apparently there's only one office of pediatric endocrinologists in the whole city), but today was the day. The visit could not have gone better, really. I was worried that we were going to be entering a battle with a pill-pushing know-it-all (not that I have issues with doctors, or anything...), but nothing could be further from the truth.

The doctor said that the pediatrician had already run all the appropriate blood work and, as we know, it was all normal. The most reassuring thing she said was that the delayed bone growth was actually a GOOD sign. That means that he will probably just enter puberty a little later than his peers and continue growing for a couple of years after they are all done. Is he going to hate that when he gets older? Probably, but it's still great news!

We are supposed to go back to the endocrinologist in 4 months and have another bone age test in June 2014, both to make sure that his growth isn't slipping farther behind. I'll keep you updated, but I really don't anticipate any problems. Hooray!

Cordelia

The naughty sleeping place here: Lila's pillow

A cat can eat a rat. -- Webster's Bluebacked Speller

. . . unless it is the cat in this photo. This cat is broken. She lays on her back for most of the day, pitifully reaching one paw out toward any person who walks by her. She would have you believe that she is horribly neglected, but she's not.

The only time she feels it is appropriate to get off her back is when it's time to eat or she has spotted what she perceives to be a naughty place to lay. One of her favorite right-side-up pastimes is laying on the back of the couch, behind my head, and smacking me in the side of the face with her tail.

If this cat ever saw a rat, she'd probably just ask it to scratch her belly.

Antidepressants

"Christ is all, and in all." -- Colossians 3:11

I've been pretty vague about this medication change that I'm going through and I suppose it's because I fear being judged. To heck with that! I much prefer transparency and freedom. The short version is that I'm trying to reduce my dose of antidepressant. The much longer version is as follows...

Depression has been always for me. Shortly before Doug and I got married, it started getting much worse. I won't go into all the details of the depression itself or the hundreds of hours of therapy that I've been through. That's not what this story is about. This is about the medication side of things. What you do need to know is that, about one month after the wedding, I got about as low as I could get. The only step further down would have been suicide.

One aspect of my problem was a big battle with obsessive thoughts. Some poisonous thought would find its way into my head and I could not stop thinking about it, no matter how hard I tried. Therapy was not helping with this, so I finally decided to try medication. I went to my first psychiatrist (he asked to be called Dr. J and passed out hugs as freely as drugs. i kid you not.) and got a prescription for a low dose of Paxil CR. 12.5 mg, if you're interested.

That worked wonders for me. I still remember the day that I was driving down the road and one of these awful thoughts popped into my head and I just decided not to think about it. And it WORKED. It was such a big deal that I almost had to pull over! And it continued to work well for me as I pursued therapy and began healing.

Fast forward a few years to the birth of my first child. I knew that post-partum depression was a possibility, but I had no idea what was coming.

It hit me hard and I found myself right back at rock bottom, almost overnight. That was when my psychiatrist increased my dose to 25 mg. The idea was that I'd take that dose until I stabilized and then go back down. It worked very well, again. In fact, once I was feeling better, I was feeling so much better that it seemed foolish to decrease my dose. So there I stayed.

Fast forward a few more years, to the birth of my second child.

I prayed that I would not have the same problems as before. I had worked SO hard and gone through SO much therapy that I figured I was safe. Wrong. Baby is born and I'm back at rock bottom. At this point, you can probably guess what came next. My psychiatrist increased my medication (to 50 mg) and it worked so well that we all agreed I should stay at that dose. And that is where I have been since Eli was born.

It has always been my goal to eventually wean off of the medication. Even though I recognize the essential role that it has played in my life, it still bothers me greatly that I am putting manufactured chemicals into my body every day. In recent months, I began to realize that I am in better mental, emotional, and physical shape than I have ever been in my life. It seemed (still does) like the perfect time to take that first step and reduce my medication.

I did not do this on my own, of course. I talked to my doctor about it and he was willing to work with me to achieve my goal. (I'd like to see him stop me, really.) I plan on taking this very slowly. I've been taking this medication for over 10 years and my brain will need lots of time to adjust. The agreed-upon first step was to go from 50 mg back down to 25 mg. I don't remember if the 50% reduction was my idea or his, but it was a bad one.

I've been doing research this week and it seems that the suggested method of weaning is to reduce your dose by 10% every 3-6 weeks. It also turns out that Paxil is a very difficult medication to get off of. As I am discovering firsthand. Some of the side effects have been expected and others have been a total surprise. In the two weeks since I decreased my dose, I've experienced: dizziness, vivid dreams, intense emotions, anger and frustration, depression, nausea and diarrhea, headaches, poor concentration, and short term memory problems.

Doesn't that sound like fun?!? [BIG eye roll]

I'm sticking with it though. Quitting does not sit well with me, so it would take a lot to convince me to go back to the higher dose of medication. For now, I've learned a very effective coping technique. It's called Jesus. I look directly at whatever crazy emotion I'm feeling and I tell it that I know what it really is. Then I turn my eyes away from it and onto Jesus and I trust that it will pass soon. He's never let me down before and I know He won't let me down now.

God doesn't ask us to do anything without also giving us the strength to do it. The problems begin when we begin trying to do his Will (or our own) by our own power. Not gonna work. Every single one of us is weak and broken. And praise God for that because I wouldn't want to have to do this on my own!

Ch-ch-ch-changes!

I watched a documentary today that was very convicting. It's called Captivated and it's about finding help for our media-captivated culture. I was squirming in my seat as I watched because it forced me to face my own media addictions: cable tv, Facebook, texting, media multi-tasking, computer and phone games. I looked at myself and I didn't like what I saw. I'm not the type of person who sees an unsatisfactory thing in themselves and just keeps going.

I am committing to the following changes...

1. I am going to talk to Doug about cancelling our AT&T U-verse service. Just thinking about not having access to all the shows that I typically watch makes me kind of panicky, which is a good indicator that I need to cut the cord. I think Doug will be up for this because he has thrown the idea out himself in the past (and received a rather hostile and defensive response from his loving wife). I have no intention of cutting us off entirely though.

We'll be keeping Netflix and I can always watch network shows on their websites.

2. Facebook and I are ending our affair. I will check it only once per day. The instant gratification I received from frequent Facebook updates is the reason I have let my blog go (despite multiple attempts to revive it). No more. I am going to try to give up Instagram as well. I will carry the camera with me or email photos from my phone to myself so that I can use them in my blog. The practice of putting my thoughts together into a coherent blog update in the evenings will benefit me far more than having my friends 'Like' every random thought that I have during the day.

[sigh] I used to be a pretty good writer. Now I have a hard time keeping my thoughts in one place long enough to type out a whole story. I don't like that.

3. I will not text, play phone games, or play computer games when there is another human in the room with me. Anything that needs to be said urgently can be said in a phone call. Games only serve to distract me from something far more important - relationships.

4. I will use only one type of media at a time. This might actually help me cut down on my tv viewing because I really don't like to sit and stare at the screen for very long. That is why I tend to have the tv on, my phone next to me, and my computer in my lap. Disgusting. If I can't sit still to watch the show, then it must not be that good. If my hands really need something to keep them busy, then maybe I'll take up crocheting again.

I'll have to ponder that one though. Not sure crocheting (or other crafty-type things) would be any better because I'd still be multi-tasking. And here's the plain truth: You cannot give your full attention to more than one thing at a time. Think about it.

Let's see, is that all?

Oh, I might also give up my subscription to the digital version of the newspaper and start getting a physical one. It's more expensive and less environmentally friendly, but it's better for my eyes and brain.

Please keep me accountable to these commitments. Ask me how it's going. If you see me updating Facebook during the day, then call me on it! Some of these changes will be gradual and they might take time. I'll try to avoid perfectionism and keep my eye on trajectory.